For those of you who don’t know me or didn’t know me well when we met, you may not have known that I suffer from anxiety disorder. It is one of those ‘things’ in life that you hide as well as you possibly can without letting anyone clue into the pain that you feel inside.

I get a lot of messages from people telling me “you have the perfect life,” “when do you NOT have the money to travel?,” “can we just switch lives?” I want you to know that no ones life is perfect and although I am so thankful for the people I’ve met and the places I’ve been, we all have our problems and my ‘problem‘, my anxiety disorder, seems to consume my entire life at times.

So how do I fix an anxiety disorder?

You don’t. Anxiety disorders are more common among young adults now in Canada more than ever. The stress of work, school, social media… you get it… it’s a lot to handle and cannot easily be handled when you’re suffering from anxiety and/or depression. If I’m going through a stage of anxiety, I often feel nervous, nauseous, irritable, exhausted and restless. These symptoms don’t dissolve until the ‘problem’ is resolved. I.e. calling in sick, skipping practice or not going to school.

Everyone should have a happy place. What/where is your happy place? 

Well, mine is on the road. I started travelling a few years back and found that the more I ran from my problems, the better my anxiety attacks became. I felt at ease, I started to understand myself and who I want to be, and most importantly I was happy.

Running is NOT the solution to your problems, but I’ve been lucky enough to stumble upon something I really love, something that is both work and passion and also allows me to ease my anxiety disorder significantly.

My running turned into travelling and my travelling turned into exploring which has now led me to where I am today. A travel blogger/content creator/freelancer. I aspire to be more, but I always want to be able to take what I’m passionate about and apply it to my work on a daily basis. This is where I find my happiness.

I’m not going to lie, my passion for travel doesn’t eliminate my anxiety, but it definitely helps sooth the constant worry and stress. I also take medication which allows an increase in the levels of serotonin in my brain and provides me comfort on a regular basis.

Have you ever experienced anxiety or depression? It’s not something that we should be ashamed of, yet I feel ashamed every morning I wake up. I feel ashamed every time someone sees me breakdown or show pain. I feel ashamed that it is the reason I started to travel in the first place, but most importantly, I am thankful.

I am thankful that I have people who love me and support me. I am thankful to have experienced all that I have throughout my life despite my biggest weakness. I am happy that I am now in a place where I feel comfortable enough to settle down, smile and think about my future without medication and without fear. I know it’s not possible at the moment, but I am confident that I can overcome my anxiety disorder and will work as hard as I can to do so in the new year.